The cover letter that got me the internship (that didn’t pan out)

The following is a cover letter I composed at 2am during late 2019. I was scrounging through LinkedIn, searching for a writer job that paid. I stumbled upon an awfully composed listing for an (unpaid) internship at Fashion Industry Broadcast. While I don’t have the listing, here’s the cover letter I composed after hours of applying for jobs I was vastly underqualified for:

To whom it may concern,

I am applying to the listing on LinkedIn quoted, in all-caps, to be “WRITER / DIGITAL CONTENT CREATOR / 2 DAYS PER WEEK PROFESSIONAL INTERNSHIP / TRAINEESHIP” in hopes to utilise the skills from my Diploma of Professional Writing and Editing, from which I contributed and edited a published anthology (Painted Words 2019). You can find my blog exhibiting short fiction, opinion pieces, and feature articles at https://deannaistyping.wordpress.com/ — I continue to add to my blog while studying a Bachelor of Creative Writing.

I’ve written this cover letter with the ironic intention of correcting the listing’s embarrassingly frequent spelling and grammatical errors. For example, the following is a quote I have taken from the internship’s listing:

“Whether its online content, film content, journalistic content, or features all around the globe bright young people are establishing brilliant careers as a Content Creator. I you are you a strong Writer, we can train you to be better ? Want to get your work published on a prestigious globally distributed platform ? We can get you published and your work seen all around the world.”

This is my correction:

“Whether it’s online, film, feature, or journalistic content, you can join the bright young people from across the globe establishing brilliant careers as our Content Creator. Are you a strong writer? We can train and hone your skills further! Want to get your work published on a prestigious, globally distributed platform? We can publish your work so that it may be seen around the world.”

As I am currently a student at Deakin University, I would like the chance to exercise and hone my writing skills in the workforce, and to work as part of a team.

Thank you for your time.

I got a response.

You sound great ! 

The email was from a bloke named Paul, who put my father’s grammatical errors to shame. Suspiciously eager (in hindsight…) to see me join his team, he emailed me a list of content the length of my arm to browse and “see what [we] do”. I responded back very appreciative and tried to arrange an interview over the phone or web.

That didn’t happen, because Paul was happy to just see me start!

Then he tossed me over to his content director. We spoke a little more, and the content director emailed me a bunch of documentation regarding the internship.

However, there was the Internship and IP agreement. These things are what I’d consider mildly important as a writer, and they were distinctly missing from her information packet despite another document stating they needed to be signed by me. She told me Paul could hook me up with them.

This is where the red flags really started waving.

You don’t need any documentation. You just need to agree to do it.

Paul, Fashion Industry Broadcast

A little rattled by this, I chose not to agree to anything. PAUL, with his near-illiterate writing style and all signoff, didn’t send me anything else.

FIB and I ghosted one another after my first and only published piece on the website. Not because of the quality of the piece, but because neither of us communicated.

Though I haven’t gone back into their WordPress to determine whether I still have access to their gear. I should check on that at some point.

Don’t take unpaid internships for clout, friends. Especially not from suspect people on LinkedIn.

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