Dear spambots or suspiciously well-meaning persons,
I understand this message is futile, but in the unlikely event you are all indeed different individuals coincidentally sending me emails using the same font type and size, please know this: I am not currently looking for services to increase my SEO at this time. I’m not interested in your services, even if you are offering them at such low, low prices.
It is with this understanding that I relinquish my email address to your bot-like whims:
Literally any other individual is welcome to email me. Be aware that mentioning search engine optimisation in any form typically results in your email being immediately forwarded to spam. Probably because Google (rightly) believes you’re spam.